"And I-I said, I don't care if they lay me off, either. Because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I'm, I'm quitting. I'm going to quit. And, and I told Don too, because they've moved my desk four times already this year, and I used to be over by the window, and I could see the squirrels and they were married, but then they switched from the Swingline to the Boston stapler, but I kept my Swingline stapler because it didn't bind up as much and I kept the staples for the Swingline stapler....And, oh, no, it's not okay because if they make me, if they, If they take my stapler then I'll, I'll have to, I'll set the building on fire." Office Space, 1999
"Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." Rhett Butler, Gone With the Wind, 1939
"You don't understand! I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I could've been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am." Terry Malloy, On the Waterfront”, 1954
"As God is my witness, I'll never be hungry again." Scarlett O’Hara, Gone With the Wind, 1939
"Yeah I called her up, she gave me a bunch of crap about me not listenin' to her enough, or somethin'. I don't know, I wasn't really payin' attention." Dumb & Dumber, 1994
"You know, my mother never had time for me. When you're the middle child in a family of five million, you don't get any attention." Antz,1998
In this series of blogs, I'm discussing Leadership. In May, I addressed Listening Skills. This month, I’ll talk about Recognizing and Meeting Needs.
• Motivating & Inspiring Others
• Listening Skills
• Recognizing and Meeting Needs
• Retaining Valuable Employees
• Understanding Personality Types
When communicating with others, to really communicate, we must have an understanding of that person’s or group’s needs.
I know that there are a lot of movie quotes at the beginning of this, but you’ll see that they have some significance in our discussion.
People are motivated by their needs. Once we are able to recognize a person’s needs, we are better able to communicate with them.
There are a number of theories of what needs motivate us. (Harris T. E., 2002)
• Maslow’s Need Hierarchy.
o Maslow said that there are motivated throughout our lives by a hierarchy of needs.
First is Physiological – those needs related to self-preservation.
Second – Safety & Security – including security, stability, protection, and freedom from fear.
Third –Belongingness & Love –the need to love & be loved.
Fourth – Esteem – including our self-evaluation of how useful, competent, and important we feel.
Fifth – Self-Actualization – trying to reach our own personal best.
• Herzberg’s Motivator-Hygiene Theory
o This has to do with how we react to our job experiences.
Motivators relate to those things that are related to having a good feeling on the job.
Hygiene are those related to surrounding or peripheral factors that lead to dissatisfaction on the job.
• Acquired Needs Theory
o This proposes that certain needs are learned or acquired from our culture. These include the Need for Achievement, The Need for Power, and the Need for Affiliation.
As you can imagine, there is much more to these and many more theories than we have time to address. However, Maslow’s Theory seems to be the one most of us are acquainted with. So, I’ll base the rest of the discussion on it.
If any of you have seen “Gone with the Wind” (and those who have not, should), we can see that the first and second needs are reflected in the experiences of Scarlett O’Hara. She comes home after the Civil War (or, if you’re from the South, The War of Northern Aggression) and finds she has no food, inadequate shelter, little, if any, safety and protection.
To communicate with someone in her situation, you must first meet those needs. Before my wife and I were married, 39 years ago this month, our minister told us that the rules of welfare are:
• First: Feed Them (Maslow #1)
• Second: Love Them (Maslow #3)
• Counsel with them (Maslow #4)
We’ve always tried to keep that in mind. When I’d get home from work and Laura had been with the kids all day; and, now when she gets home from work (I work from home), we always have dinner ready to eat, have a hug and a kiss, then, after dinner, when things have settled down, is the time to discuss the issues that came up during the day.
I remember on the Bill Cosby show he came home from work and as he came in the door, his wife said, “I want you to go upstairs and kill your oldest child!” Nope – need to meet the needs first.
If employees are having trouble at home and are threatened by insecurity and even tragedy, like illness, death, financial problems, you are going to have a hard time getting their attention and their best effort.
I’ve found that the best way to find out if someone is having a problem, ask them. They won’t always tell you, but it helps a lot for them to know you care. (BTW: You MUST really care!) If we actually have a “Rhett Butler” attitude, and in the middle of a crazy day it’s easy to do, we’ll not get very far.
The third need also is helped when we are truly engaged. Don’t be like the guy from “Dumb & Dumber”. If you can’t be engaged right now, set some uninterrupted time aside when you can give your attention.
You have to admit that the guy from “Office Space” is having trouble with number four. It’s never failed to amaze me the number of employers and managers that, rather than communicate when there’s a concern or issue, simply shunt the person aside. I’ve actually heard people say, “Well, if he doesn’t like it, he’d better quit.” Really? Not every person is suited to every job, but if we want to call ourselves ‘Leaders’, we need to be helpful and even nurturing. Remember, people and ideas are important to leaders; managers only care about performance. If goals aren’t met, then it’s “Bye-Bye”.
The ant from “Antz” was having troubles on all levels; and, let’s face it, the needs are in a hierarchy and we can’t move up to the next needs until former ones are satisfied.
Terry Malloy was, because of the machinations of others, including his own brother, failing at needs 4&5. He had goals, he knew who he was, he was good at what he did, but for one reason or another, he was denied the self-esteem and self-actualization that would have encouraged the potential to achieve those goals.
One of the greatest opportunities that we have in business is to be alert to those two top needs and give employees their rein to achieve all they can. What benefit would accrue to your practice if capable, motivated people were listened to and their ideas taken seriously?
So, in summary, before we can communicate with others, including letting them know how they can help with our needs, we must discern their needs. If we don’t, it would be like us expecting a five-year-old to keep our books. We may need an accountant, but this kid has way too many needs for her to be able to communicate, let alone function. If people are having problems with numbers 1-3, then those must be fixed in order to effectively communicate with them. If they are at the points of numbers 4&5, their needs will be communicated in ways that show that they are able and willing to try to improve, and even excel.
Works Cited
Harris, T. E. (2002). Applied Organizational Communication - Principles and Pragmatics for Future Practice. Mahwah, NJ: Lawrence Erlbaum Associates.